Did you know you can decide in advance how you’re going to feel about something? And it feels amazing. For instance, I used to get my photo taken, and when I’d get the proofs back, I’d pick apart every flaw and usually hate most of them. They were never good enough. Back then I operated from the belief that I wasn’t good enough (another topic.) I entertained thoughts like "I don't take a good picture," "I'm awkward," "I'm only acceptable at certain angles,," etc. So it’s no damn wonder I hated them! (I want to apologize to all photographers right now, lol.)
But recently I had a photo shoot to celebrate turning 50 and my newly anointed cancer free status, and before I even saw the photos, I decided IN ADVANCE that I would love them. I affirmed that I am wholly acceptable as I am. That whatever the photographer captured I would embrace and celebrate. I was going to love these photos because I love myself. These photos are me celebrating and loving this body that, if you think about it, is the most exquisite gift from the cosmos.
And guess what. I love them! I went in and even the ones that my brain started to veer toward nitpicking, I somehow recalibrated automatically and just embraced them as “This is me.”
I did this again when I went in for my follow-up mammogram after treatment. I decided in advance that I am okay no matter what the mammogram shows. I affirmed that I feel great and that I am resourceful. That I’m in good hands. And I am perfectly wonderfully okay right now, no matter what the mammogram shows. Nothing outside of me determines whether I am okay.
You are okay, too. No matter the circumstances.